The first time I met Matt Bischoff was this summer at a Dew Tour stop. If you haven’t had the chance to meet him, he is one of the easiest and most approachable guys around. I’m pretty sure the conversation we had lasted about 45 minutes, and it was like I’ve known Matt since the day I hopped on a BMX. His personality is one of a kind, and I think you will see that in the questions below… - Kurt Hohberger
What’s new in your life?
The most recent important thing is my new son Kanon.
Did you survive Interbike without getting sick? It seems like a lot of people left with the flu.
Yeah, I had a slight headache one morning, but thats all. I try to have fun but not get too overboard. I’ve been down that road before at Interbike and it sucked.
How was Interbike for Failure anyways?
This year was different than previous years because we didn’t have a booth. We are usually part of the System Cycle Supply booth, but this year System had their own tradeshow called The System Cycle Symposium. It was real chill, and for the first year of it, it was pretty rad. You could really have quality conversations with dealers instead of super short interactions that tend to happen at Interbike. There were several brands that decided not to have a booth this year, and I think less brands will be there with a booth next year. This year, I was not tied down to being at a booth and could really see what everyone had going on, as well as do business with my International distributors and of course hang out with friends I dont see very often. Good times.
Where are you right now?
At my house on my computer.
Where are you off to next?
Getting ready to leave to go to the studio to lay down some vocal tracks for my band Dandelion Death. Its gonna be Chawesome!
What does your average daily routine consist of these days?
Usually I wake up around 9 am with a half boner pressed against my wifes ass. I try and make my moves and get some beaver cuz morning lovin’ is fun. After that my 3 year old son Ryder usually wakes up, and I come upstairs to his room to get him, and then get him some milk and something good to eat. While hes watching cartoons, I will get online and check emails, myspace, Facebook and a shitload of BMX websites to see whats going on. Then my wife Tessa and my 7 month old son Kanon will get up and do their thing. That consists of him sucking on her tits for breakfast for like 15 minutes. Then her and the kids will play while I get in the shower and prepare my beard for the day. This takes lots of work. I condition it with a special conditioner in the shower. After that, I gently towel dry it. Then I rub this beard formula stuff in it and work on combing it with a wide tooth comb. After the beard is done, I figure out what sweet tee shirt I’m gonna wear, and which Red Man hat Im going to put on. After that I work on Failure stuff. I do a lot from home which is nice. My distributor System Cycle is like 45 minutes away, so I go up there every week or so to do some business. Later in the afternoons, I’ll ride my backyard ramp and trails which is nice. My son Ryder will hang out with me at the trails and ride his little bike around. He loves it. Eating dinner happens at random times. But usually I’ll eat dinner with my family and do some stuff with the kids. After they are in bed, I’ll be on my computer listening to music, doing more emails or checking websites while occasionally watching some reality TV shows. Usually go to bed at like Midnight.
What do you think the world would be like if you didn’t have a manly beard?
Well, I would save lots of money on beard products, and I would be more comfortable while I sleep. But the world would kind of suck. Having a beard gives me mass amounts of Beaver. I have also perfected the Beard Grab as well as other beardgrab tricks. I really can’t imagine the world without a beard!
Tell us something people might not know about you.
I literally find beard hairs all over my carpet and crap, and I save every one in a ziplock baggy. It rules.
What does 2010 have in store for you?
Ride my bike, hopefully playing a bunch of shows with my band, going to beard competitions, and releasing a bunch of new Failure products that we are working on as we speak.
Any plans for tonight?
Go out to dinner with my family and then drink some Tecate and carve pumpkins with my kids.
